"I love me but I hate me?"

I can't possibly begin to explain everything that has ever happened in the last month. No forget the last month, even the last week has been so incredibly hectic and confusing and so many things are going on at once I'm not sure how I am capable of keeping up anymore.

Are you ever in that situation where you are thinking about something and then you suddenly wonder "how did I get to this point from what I started thinking about?". Our mind works in evidently strange ways. It's like you start on one thing from your youtube recommended and the next thing you know, you're watching a slow-motion video of a puppy drinking water. It's strange, right? I'm hoping that I'm not the only one who experiences this because that would be incredibly strange.

You see I am one of those people that just over-thinks everything. Like even if it makes no sense. I think everyone hates me until I get proven otherwise. That's NOT a good thing just letting you know that now. I've never really understood what goes on my mind. See I have these days where I am genuinely depressed and I can't explain it. I don't what happened to cause it or why I feel like that but I am. And then suddenly there will be those days where I am at this high point. I am overly energetic and that also has no explanation and I'll be like "yeah I'm a boss too cool for you". And there's negative me and I find the worst possible outcome so that I don't get my hopes us when I inevitably fail, or I get excited when I end up with a good outcome, and personally, I know how bad that is to do. I don't understand myself either. I love myself, but I hate myself?

That's the thing about love and hate. I use them so rarely because of how strong their meaning really is. But that's something to talk about for another time. Some advice a friend of mine just told me was "You have to train yourself to be happy with yourself. To find something else that makes you happy like an activity or a tv show. Making sure that those around you are okay is very important, but it should not come to the extent to which you are spiraling because you can't control everything, and if you can't make someone else happy or if you are helpless because things aren't in control, you have to accept it and know that you did your best."

I personally think that is great advice not just for me but for any of you reading.

There are so many directions you can take information but what's most important is to let it benefit you and not hurt you. So have a great day, and make something useful out of what you're told whether it's positive or not. Happy Reading!